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Alwy
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Alwy
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Thursday, November 29, 2007 I would rather accept guys who can give me 100% happiness Though currently i have someone in my mind right now.. sometimes i just couldnt tink of something else. I do believe that i can give 100% of my love to someone whom i really like but the matter is whether the person appreciate and aware of my feelings for him??? He can choose to ignored or keep quiet. What does it means when i really noticed that he have been giving me cold shoulder and not behaving like he used to be when he saw me?? When i really like someone, i dun even gif other people a chance even if the person like me. I do noe how the pain feels like when u kanna rejected. Seriously! I just wan to be someone who i like and of cos the person like me too. Sometimes my fren said..,maybe i should even TRY giving people a chance and see how things go. Seriously, it never came to my mind b4. Kinda waste of time if it end up nth. Get wat i mean?? Reality will never end up be like fairytales. How i really wish fairytales can becomes in reality?? But seriously.. it will never never happen to me!! LolX~ But ytd when i am hvin Girls talk with my fren... i told em.. If ever one day a guy whom i have no feelings for but i do noe him as a fren and me myself find him not bad.. i will accept his love for me. Let me say this again, i'm not despo like whoever u noe in sch okay?? Cos i believe they can gif me 100% happiness rather than me alone giving. Cos i find unbearable to be the one loving someone, pinning hope that the person like me based on my sincerity?? I would rather being the one being love. Really!! When it will happen, i oso dunoe. I oso dun wish to noe. Shall let nature take it course. I tink the guy i like noe that i like him le. So yeah.. Shall not interfere, shall let him tink abt it if i am the one for him =D For now, i shall be the normal bubbly girl ;) :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Wednesday, November 28, 2007 Well, what a suay day!!! Today its my mum's bday and today just nice its my pay day too. N guess what?? I'm sick!!! Damn it~ I vomited when i was on my way back home on train. Thank god my dad bought sth n there is a plastic bag for me. OMG~ I dun care if it was embarrassing or what. I just cant tahan. Thats why~ Didnt really go out to celebrate my mum's bday. But i did went to see doc n buy 24 donuts for my ESC, huiru, shufen, jel, pam, nicholas, clar, eric and welson! I msg them to come esc to look for me... hehe~ Actually wanted to gif to the rest whom i oso want to treat them but den couldnt find em.. so yeah~~ Haha~ The donut was delicious.. RITE guys?? They were having their fun n wonder why i bought for em. I got my pay so i bought these to treat em. I even came down though i'm sick. arent i thoughtful?? But got pl asked me to go home lah. But yes, i did go home after that cos of the med. cnt tahan~~ Drowsiness!!! Spend med n donut money. Plus, i bought many hairclips and HELLO KITTY WATER BOTTLE. wahaha~ Very cute!!! Lolx~ Gonna use it liao. Gonna take good care of it :P :P The tot of gg to work on this sat make me sick again~~ I hate to work and i hate to work with the people there liao.. sianzation... I wanna get well soon pls.... i nid to train for my E-guides open hse performance.... :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Saturday, November 24, 2007 Seriously after all so many things had happened, i really got so much to say till i find it too lazy to blog. It would better to say it out rather than typing it out. So sickening!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~ Faster pay come.. i wanna buy a lappy now WITH MY OWN MONEY. Gonna use my sis's credit card to pay installment. With no one help but just me myself. Gonna work more, earn more and save more. Hope i really can do it!! I really cutting down on eating snacks. Help me to save money and ON DIET too :P Can u believe that?? I reali cut down 3KG this n last week in total. I didnt do any exercise but just eat per normal but dun eat unnecessary. DRINK MORE WATER too.. wahaha~~ So happy lor. but gonna little of exercise too lah. lolx~ :P:P If i can lah.. wahaha~~~ :P:P Dunoe what am i gg to do for the rest of the day man.. hmm.. Have E-Guides planning. godd..... haha~~~~ ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I had enough! Well, i really had enough of what had happened all these while. Sometimes i find some people are really very scary. Looks in disguise. People can be so fake till they can act to be nice and friendly to u but in fact THEY ARE NOT!!! =x I really dunoe who to believe.. Who are real?? Are they lying?? Or should i say why do i have to bother or care much about them if they themselves dun even put themselves in my shoes??? But seriously.. sometimes.. i do wonder.. And i really want to noe!!!! The place and the people whom i noe there and here now brought me tears, saddness and have became negative in thinking. I used to one bubbly smiley girl though i still appear to be so. Noe so many people oso no use cos not ALL are ur friends. Just when they needed a fren, i'm always there for them.. But.. how come when i needed a fren, where are they at the first place??? However these sign oso show u who are really ur true friend. :D Besides, sometimes people can just conclude things without finding out or ask to clarify things themselves. For example, They didnt even see or heard things from the first hand people but from the another people. They believed and they kanna affected and believe in em. Sometimes, truth are hidden. Sometimes u have to go ask it urself in order to clarify EVERYTHING u wanna noe. No point argueing and discussing with people w/o u guys go ask them urself. Do u tink u will get the ans by then?? Seriously.. it would be better if u go ask them urself instead u go round asking other people instead of the people u should be asking for.. Get what i mean?? I seriously had enough! I'm trying to be nice to everyone but it seems no one seems to be pushing me around. Dun see me as if i belong to that place. cm'on.. u noe who i am and what kind of person i am. Just cos u dun like this particular person and u outcast me! Do u tink all these is being fair to me?? I've been trying really very hard to do things to change. But the prob is i am not given a chance to do so. In fact i should say, many were wondering and even ask my own people why. I do wonder if my capabilities cnt compared to whosoever who always involve?? Even i had work commitment outside, i dunoe how to set prioritise. If i heck care all these, i seriously have lots of free resting and slacking time. I can get to catch up with many many people and do many many things. At the same time, worked more n earn more!! lolx~ Why make my life so difficult when i care so much with all these?? Seriously i do wonder go on with my lives by doing what i like to do or supposed to do. But sometimes these kind of thingy do really distracts me. Is it the probs lies on me or on them?? I really have to stand on my feet again. I really wanna show my best to the people n tell em that not all people in there are this kind of people. I'm not attitude and i'm capable too. Plz come back cos i miss the fun time i had with u guys. I really dun wanna lose u guys. Plz dun waste my effort in emailing u guys and building up relationship with u guys. I sincerely want u guys! Its really okay if u didnt really get into the post u want. Even if u get into other post, its okay. Just take it as u try sth new! Be responsible with the task u have n finish it up. N if u really realized that u really dun like at the end of the event, dun go back anymore but sometimes u do have to go back. Afterall u r always working with diff people. Just like me! Trying to be helpful but the got people said i'm interferring. So yeah. Who cares?? Shall not say anything good for u already. Hell or heaven for u, i oso dun care. God damn it! :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Tuesday, November 20, 2007 Gosh.. i'm sick again. Guess i dun hv enough slp thats why. Plus i'm troubled over sth cos i overheard a bad news and it struck me! So i am hvin a bad day these days. so sry.. Can i have another laughing session?? I really enjoyed myself after so long with AJ n Clar.. thanks guys ;) :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Thursday, November 15, 2007 These days have been feeling real bored. Have been taking pix almost everyday of myself and even with the people around me. But .. just feeling real bored n tired these days. Sigh.. Really miss my old self n miss the people whom i always hang around with.. :( :(                  :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Wednesday, November 14, 2007 WEll, as u guys noe that in my previous post, i mention that i like a guy. Yes, i tink he roughly noe cos maybe some of my actions seems obvious or even the things that i gave him might give him a small signal that i like him. Besides, i finally told some of my frens who the real person behind it. N some were rather shocked, some have already knew it long ago. I rather emo these days.. its just that i didnt show it out neither do i write in up here.. :( My fren told me something. Sometimes dun fall in love with a person so easily even when a guy treat u very good. Perhaps it is just the person's character or even i should say they r gentlemen. :D But the prob is i dun really fall in love that easily. I am closed with alot of people but why him??? He's not good looking or whatever but i fall for his personality. Just like a RAINBOW. Full of smiles and laughter. Feel really happy being wit him. Make me feel so secured n XinFu. Just what i needed the most from my MR Right. I dun care how he looked like cos i dun look good too.. What i wanted the most is the love, security and i can feel the happiness with that guy. But sometimes, love this kind of thingy cnt forced or do anything cos if u really dun hv feeling for the person, den thats it already unless.... the person dun mind giving it a try. sometimes things might work out somehow. dun ya agreed??? Maybe i tot that he has feelings for me but it wasnt true from the beginning. Maybe he really treat me like one his fren. A fren whom he cared alot. :))) Once the person start avoiding me, i will do the same thing too cos i dun wan him to feel awkward or see him seldom coming down with the gang.. If he call for me, i would be there for him for sure. But if i nid him, what shall i do????????? So perhaps when he dun wan to gif me the wrong idea, that is why he stop calling for me, being close to me.... Perhaps i really get the answer already. I got that dude~~~ Dun wry. Perhaps it would be better if u tell me how u feel............. :D :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Saturday, November 10, 2007 Well, times flies. Tml gonna be another day for me n soon..., a brand new week is coming up! :) Was rather troubled over my personal prob. So went to club on wed after ESC's meeting with ESC and CENT club people. We had fun! Afterall it was my 1st time! I was very high cos i drank alot n the people there was GREAT. I nv dance with stranger neither do i get drunk. I drunk quite alot till ERIC n gang kept asking me if i'm alrite. I'm just tired. Dance till my leg was painful.. :P N my hands too. Thanks to Gilian from CENT club. Now my right hand got blue black. Gonna show to people if its still there next week.. ARGH~~~ Haha Well, i really didnt noe i can hold my liquor well. Nv reali drank teq b4 but i drank two shots. It was burning hot till my throat was burnt. Got sorethroat right now. Damn it but it tastes quite nice too. Drank many different drinks that they gave me so i dun reali noe the name of it. But all tastes nice n i like it :D Hehe~ ;) Wanna go one more time. So if next time u guys wanna go, do ask me along.. Provided i am not working next day la :P Played till 3am n reached hm around 3plus but slept around 4am cos i couldnt slp. Den wake up at 8 as i am working half morning the next day. GOD DAMN IT. My worse was sore and i was burning tired. OMG~ N i even had a date with huiru n shufeng out after my work. They can see that i am really very tired as both my eyes were red and i am rather blur too.. :P Went to shop around. Didnt reali go much places but the things that i bought was wohoo~~ Quite EX in total. Spend alot on food too. Thanks to shufeng n huiru. They can really eat and they eat more than me too.. Hmmm =x Wonder why their size is so big difference from mine.. lolx~ Going to take pix on the stuff that i bought. :P Missing someone badly. People have been reading my blog and they have been asking me who is the person i am referring to. Some failed to guess it correctly though i wrote it rather obvious. Some have guessed it correctly but i denied. Or rather some that i gave clues and have the correct person in mind. Lolx~ Well, didnt reali make a move though i gave him sth that means my feelings for him. Guess he sense it and he's avoiding me now. No longer like a sweet lovely couple when we were tgt or even when we see each other. Now we r rather like normal stranger fren. Who just only hi and bye when we got tgt. He didnt even bother to call out my name or say bye to me. It was rather heartbreaking but what to do yeah? Once again, i falling out of love. Lolx~ Maybe he just nid time. Afterall he have been rather stressful over his workload. So better dun do anything until things get better for him. But at the same time, i'm worried that he might tink that its me who dun wanna tok to him or even he will wonder why i didnt tok to me. Its kinda funny isnt it. Sometimes feel like giving up but at the same time.. sigh.. Well, gonna write till here.. Tml gg to work full shift again. Sianz. How i wish.. how i really wish.. he is the one who picked me up for one day after work... =) :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Tuesday, November 06, 2007 Gosh.. Today came across some nice designed shoes. OMG~ Feel like buying some plain shoes n den copy the design from the screen. Just like what i did for belvin for his bday!! :D I drew lots of cartoon characters on a card for his bday n he's lovin it!! HeHe~~ Decided to just copy a few n den maybe find some time to work on it... HEHE~ den post online n maybe people can ask me draw n pay for it?? Den i can earn extra cash liao.. WHEEE~~~~ But first i must see if i'm up to it anot. wahaha :P :P Tml gg clubbing. First time. HAHA~ Going to drink. Hopefully wun drunk ba which i tink i wun nor. wahaha~~~ Well thats all for now. Now reali love shoes n bag alot!!! :P :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Monday, November 05, 2007 Finally after so long.. i am having peace from the two guys.. LOLX~ Phew~ But kinda sianz these days too. Cos long time nv enjoyed myself or feel happy le. i dunoe why. FAN man.. haha~ But dun care lah. who cares right?? cos if the person care for me, the person would have done so. i wonder if the person still remember the day for both of us. :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Thursday, November 01, 2007
I'm still in this school at this hour. I'm so bored right now so i decided to take the time to blog better. haha :D Now waiting for Amanda to finish her meeting with the TPSU.. Faster cos i'm tired though i dun hv anything else in sch so tml i am gg to slp as long as i want though i am working 6 to close.. haha.. Well early in the morning, i received lots of SMS from Lilian, Snk collegues and my poly friends. OMG~ I heard a bad news today and that is one of my collegues in SnK is leaving.. SADDED!! He is one of the guy collegues who always crap,joke and play with me. I enjoyed with him around at all times. he sad, i will sad too.. He is really a nice friend. :) but dunoe why he these days hv been rather moody. Guess it must hv to do with his work performance etc. Gonna miss him alot cos i dunoe who will be the one replacing him. Sadded. gonna cherish and treasure the time with the remainers. :'( Today nth much really happen. Its just a normal brand new day. :) sweetness and love that i have always enjoyed..., i think i not going to have that "happiness" feeling anymore. Kinda sad huh..? I oso tot so. Always look at the people from far but dare not go forward as i used to be. In the past, we were sweet lovely couple but now, i oso dunoe why we dun behaved in this way. :) Not going to gif up anyway but always tell myself that he's busy thats why.. :) I must hv faith in myself n him though i always tink there wun be any progress between both of us.. :( A group of friends whom i always hang around seems lesser. I kinda miss the past alot. REALLY!!! Msg some of them n even tok to some of them. Some is doing fine.. some just nid time to be alone. Hope this kind of situation can faster end cos i cant wait to be with them at all times. The crap and laughter we always have whenever we r tgt. LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!! ;) well i dun reali noe what i should write in here.. perhaps i should end here. a short entries that i hv updated for u guys to noe whats is inside my mind...! :) so yeah... will update more.. take care people ;) These pictures is taken with belvin's toy while waiting for the rest in ESC to get ready for dinner till 9plus.. Its cold and tired some more. Thank god i have cherished's jacket with me. BUT STILL.. FREEZING!!! lolx~         :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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