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Alwy
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Alwy
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Saturday, September 15, 2007 Who am i to u?? Actually got lots of things to write in here to share with everyone. Afterall blog is somewhere i can write everything down with no worries if i can say that. :-) Cos some of my friend do have my blog link and at times when they are bored or even they wanna catch up with my life, they will den read up my blog. But kinda disappoint them at times as i dun reali update that often so yeah... Sry abt that :D Well, all these days something just keep bothering me. As in who i am to certain people?? Am i just a normal friend where u can get to see me in school or street and u can simply crap or tok about anything?? Or am i a person who is more than normal friend whom u can confide to by putting more than 100% of trust n faith in me?? Sometimes i get reali very confused very easily with the relationship that i had with people. When people treated me very good n gif me lots of warmth n secure, i kinda feel very safe under their arms n would like the feeling to stay longer. but somehow in my heart, it tells me that we r just friends. nth more than that. I am not despo or what so ever. It just that when can my MR RIGHT appear just infront of me?? But there is one thing i must say is i cant differentiate if the people have feelings with me or not. All i noe if the people treat me very good esp, i will never even think if the people have feelings for me and regard them as GOOD FRIEND only. Can u imagine how simpel minded i am ?? Perhaps i never fall in love b4. As in had a serious relationship b4 therefore i dun hv that experience. I do had alot of guy friend i must say. And my pix tells in all that i uploaded in the blog, friendster. hp or even when u see me in sch or outside of that. But there are a few good guys who reali closed to me and treat me very good too. Some is i noe myself that they treat me like a small little girl and a good friend of theirs. but as for some, sometimes i will feel they have sth extra feeling for me but i will never noe if they themself confess their feelings to me. If not, i will just let the person wait and i will wait for the person to start the actions. Seriously. So in conclusion what i am trying to say is that, though i can feel sth extra feelings that the person had towards me, the person must do sth very obvious and at the same time, just confess to me. It would be better for me rather than i kept wild guessing. haha~ As for now, there is one guy who is reali very closed with me since semester one. I always regard him as a good friend of mine. always had lunch tgt if possible b4 our CDs n even wait for me after CDs if we had the same. :D He is a friend who is very sweet but he dun do things big infront of me but sth behind my back. Sometimes i reali moved by all the things he have done for me. Though we had cold war n quarrels recently when we are in semester 2, things r much better right now. But sadded thing is that he's attached and that is when i found out that i had feelings for him. Just a knife stab into my heart when i got the news from them. So yeah... Alot of my friends who know abt this told me that in fact, he care the most is me. Well, this i really can see that and feel that too. And i am far more better treated by him than he treat his gf. He will wait for me for lunch or dinner if i got come back to sch to find them aft i had finishes my long day of work. He will help me when he see me having probs with some technical stuffs or studies etc. He is a friend i must say can consider more than just normal friends to other people. We reali shared the same thinking. In chn means xin you lin xin yi dian tong. When we angry, we can reali fight till like got volcano or even can create freeze block in between us. Btu something i must say abt him is he noe me more than i noe him. Seriously. When i am sad,angry or troubled, he will noe what is it. As in guess it correctly. As for him, though i can be very observant but he is quite difficult to dealt with n i told him that too. Very difficult to break the code of his mind. haha~~~ I enjoyed every moment with him and i mean it n i tink he enjoyed being with me too. By teasing me and of cos scaring me. haha~ well,i dun dare to put much hope on him anymore since he has gf now n i did told him that i dun like his gf n he will understand if i never tok to her at all. All he care is i'm happy and thats it. He is now repaying me by treating me more better which i dunoe why he do so too. He just want me to be happy but can i noe the reasons behind it?? Who am i to him actually?? people already start gossipping abt me n him. As in they felt tat we have feelings for each other. We can consider more than friends or even more like gf bf than his present relationship with his gf. well, i reali dunoe. Like what my friend said to me today perhaps it would be better like who we were now. If we were to become bf gf, we will expect more from each other and things arent be the same anymore as we used to be b4 that. N besides that, maybe he reali had tat feelings towards me but he didnt chose me in the end cos the another girl is take the actions while i didnt. If i were to noe he had feelings for me,i wouldnt mind taking the actions but now.. i guess things are late to take any actions. :( now i had my cherished. A guy who oso cared for me. We dun reali sms or tok outside sch. No much difference with me n the him. haha~ So yeah. shall let nature take its course. Bur whatever it is.. i wish the next guy who like me can be reali obvious in his actions and of cos confess to me.. haha~ Cos i always tink by doing so is very sweet. hehe~ Guess i am thinking too much. Wish him all the best. Though i noe both him n the ger wun have lasting happy ending, i will still be there for him always like what he always did to me.. :D :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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